Look Up

I don’t spend a lot of time looking up these days. I look down to read, look down at my phone, look down when I walk, and bow my head when I pray. But lately I’ve been feeling God tell me to “Look up.” His word spoke to me this morning in Colossians 3.

(Amplified version of course) “Therefore if you have been raised with Christ to a new life, sharing in His resurrection from the dead, keep seeking the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind and keep focused on the things above the heavenly things, not on things that are on the earth which have only temporal value.”

Lately God has almost been giving me warning of difficult news. I hear him whisper “Look up” just before the blow hits. This happened to me this morning as I waited to meet a friend for coffee outside of Dunkin Donuts. It had just poured rain this morning but the sun was starting to blaze through the clouds. I felt the nudge “look up” and I just sat looking up at the clouds for a moment. After my friend and I talked over iced coffee for 20 minutes or so, I got a call from the hospital that they wanted to do yet another procedure on my teenager with leukemia that I knew would cause him discomfort and anxiety. I could feel myself crumbling but heard Gods voice whisper again “Look up.” I’m so thankful for doctors that are so careful but my heart feels fragile with all the ups and downs. After trying to sound strong on the phone, I threw my head back and looked again at the sky, this time in tears.

“I’m looking up God, but THIS doesn’t feel good!”

There is healing in raw emotion.

I’ve found that looking up is an act of surrender for me. It’s also an act of acceptance. A surrender of what I thought would occur that day and an acceptance of the new challenge ahead.

So many times I feel the need to keep my head down, plunge forward, stay strong, and don’t cry. In a moment like this morning, I felt God speaking. “It’s ok. Don’t look down. Don’t lose heart but let yourself cry. Keep focused on the things above you. I am above you. Look up at the trees. Look up to the hills. My help will come. Look up to the sky. Look up to the ceiling. I’m there in the sterile hospital room as much as I’m there on the edge of the gorgeous Grand Canyon. I’m there in the hallway when you get news you didn’t want to hear. Please look up….I’m bigger than this.”

I told my 9 year old daughter about a place I found that I like to call my “Look up” place. Even though it sounds like something out of a Winnie the Pooh book, there is comfort in a “Look up” place. I like to find a quiet place where I silence my phone, put away my memoirs and bible studies, turn off my podcasts and just sit with Jesus. I found my look up place at the hospital this week. A tiny “Simplicity Garden” in the middle of the hospital where I’ve discovered the sun only shines at 11am. It’s quiet, it’s empty, and it’s secluded. I included a picture of it here.

Later today, after my son’s procedure, I walked slowly behind his hospital bed on wheels back to the pediatric floor. We came around a corner and avoided a collision with a team of nurses. I laughed and looked at the man pushing Adrian’s bed, “That could have ended badly!”

He chuckled as well, shook his head, and pointed to the ceiling.

“Nope, I got my mirrors. They show me what’s around the corner and I don’t have to worry.”

I looked up as well and saw the round mirrors on the ceiling at every hallway intersection we passed.

There is so much value in looking up instead of down. God is just waiting to show us HIS way. I could avoid so many “collisions” in my life if I would just look up more. If I would take every available moment to sit and listen and surrender my plans. If I would look for moments to look up and be still.

Encouraged by the Psalms and David’s raw, heartfelt cry.

“I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.”

Psalms 121:1-2